ASSALAMU'ALAIKUM
Introduction
After reading some articles on the topic of "Controlling Masturbation from an Islamic point of view," I have come up with my first article on this topic. These are the basics.
Before continuing, I would like to warn my readers that mere reading of this article will bring nothing into effect. When I was addicted to masturbation, I would read "Curing Masturbation" pages but they didn't have any good effect on me. Now, I know the reason. I didn't take each and every word of those articles very seriously. I didn't practice what they told me to. Take a lesson from this experience of mine, and please don't repeat what I did.
What about D'ua?
I have always been asked, "Isn't d'ua (asking help from Allah) enough to keep us away from this filth (masturbation) ?" Of course, no one can deny the importance of d'ua. In fact, the fourth ayah of Surah Al-Fatiha is:
"You do we worship and from You do we ask help from"
However, you must know that only words are not enough. Faith without works is dead in Islam. We have to take action after d'ua, otherwise it won't profit you.
The Best Way to get rid of Masturbation
The best way to get rid of masturbation is to get married, and this is the opinion of the scholars. This is the ever-lasting cure. Wives may masturbate their husbands, this is allowed in Islam. But people can't do it themselves, it is an immoral act.
But wait... there are many people out there who can't get married. What about those people?
I can't get married!
Are you a teenager who can't get married? Are you thirteen or fourteen years old and you can't even think about marriage at this age? Or is it that you don't have the money to get married?
Well, in this situation, Islam will help you. Islam is the complete way of life - the correct way of life from Allah, the Lord of the Worlds. He guided us in this matter as well. The PROPHET MUHAMMAD (S.A.W) said:
"O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."
Fasting is something that every one can do. Some people give me the excuse that they are too young and that they can't fast because their parents would allow them to do so. This is a lame excuse, tell your parents plainly, "I am fasting to please ALLAH."
Fasting may be something that any one can do, but its really difficult. It's not all about leaving food and drinks. Fasting basically makes us more submissive to ALLAH.
While fasting, you must pray five times a day for your fast to be accepted. Otherwise, forget about the cure for masturbation. The one who is fasting should say the five obligatory prayers in congregation, should not lie, should not use abusive language, should not tell immoral jokes, should never look at ghair-mahram women (those with whom marriage is allowed), should not watch television, should not smoke, should not sing, should not listen to songs or music, and should strictly abide by the Sunnah, and all other Islamic manners and etiquettes, etc. You have to do all the Sunnah acts and all the obligatory acts to please ALLAH. These good deeds will purify you heart, increase your imaan (faith), and will make you love ALLAH. It will make you more obedient and clean, and you will want to obey ALLAH. And when this stage comes, you won't even think about masturbation!
However, its all about taking the first step. Start fasting. I know that there are people who will just get happy be seeing this article, and won't act on what it says. This is something that can destroy you.
Repentance
"For every disease there is a remedy, and the remedy for sin is repentance."
This is a hadith that they taught me in school, and I still remember it. Who is repentance a remedy for sins?
Before answering this, let's know what repentance is according to Islam. Repentance is to feel guilty of the sin you committed, and to return to ALLAH and to never do that sin again.
Repent every time you masturbate. Feel guilty of the sin that you commit. After repentance, never masturbate again.
However, if you tried your best never to masturbate after you repented, and you tried it very hardly, and you were struggling to stop masturbation because you had repented, but you still failed and masturbated again, then what will happen? You've done it again, start it all over. Repent again, and then make your intention never to return to masturbation. After extreme struggle, if you masturbate again, then repent again. Even after that you were that you overwhelmingly couldn't control yourself and sinned (masturbate) again, then repent again!
The point is that repent each and every time you sin. This will help you feel regret when you break your previous "repentance. " This will also keep you away from sin. How? Let me explain.
For example, if your mother told you never to hit your smaller brother, and you agreed with her, but still hit your small brother, she would obviously be angry with you. If you promised her again not to beat the small kid, but broke your promise, she'll be angry with you again. Then, if you promise her again, but break the promise again, she will not tolerate such behaviour again. But, what will be your position? Won't you feel regret each time you broke your previous? A time will come when you'll stop hitting the small child. Similarly, after repentance a time will come when you stop masturbating.
Conclusion
These were the basics, and if you don't act on these, then forget about curing masturbation. Put the above-mentioned points into practice, or else you'll soon become hopeless.
You may find it difficult to do all the things. One common difficulty in the way is one's own family, friends, relatives, etc. They might ask you, "Why are you fasting? Why are you praying five times a day in the Masjid? Why...?" Tell them plainly, "To please ALLAH and to purify my self."
DO TAKE CARE ALWAYS
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Words of Wisdom
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"
22. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Curriculum Vitae Tips
Why our CV is your marketing brochure through which you try to sell a commodity, ie your skills to the potential buyer ie the prospective employer. The sole purpose of your CV is to fetch you an interview call. Nothing more, nothing less.
However, creating a CV isn't as simple as just using flowery language and pretty fonts. There are certain things that put recruiters off and if you want to make a good impression, make sure you do not commit these mistakes in what is arguably the most valuable document of your job hunt.
While the rules listed are well-founded, they are not carved in stone. At times you will need to break the rules. If you want to add these things knowingly and purposefully to your CV we advise you to do that.
The points mentioned here are not listed in the order of priority; instead they are listed in the sequence in which they usually appear on a CV.
~ Colorful or glossy paper and flashy fontsYour CV is a formal, official document. Keep it simple.
~ Resume or CV at the top Many people tend to add headings to their CV. The usual are CV, Curriculum Vitae and Resume. Do not do this.
~ Photographs until askedDo not add your photo to the CV until you have been asked for it. Photographs are required only for certain types of positions like models, actors etc.
~ Usage of 'I', 'My', 'He', 'She'Do not use these in your CV. Many candidates write, 'I worked as Team Leader for XYZ Company' or 'He was awarded Best Employee for the year 2007'. Instead use bullet points to list out your qualifications/ experience like: Team leader for XYZ Company from 2006-2007.
~ Spelling mistakes and grammatical errorsProofread your CV until you are confident that it doesn't have any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. These are big put-offs for the recruiters. Moreover, sometimes these mistakes might land you in an embarrassing situation.
A candidate who submitted his CV without proofreading it committed the mistake of wrongly spelling 'ask' as 'ass'. Now you can imagine the type of embarrassment he must have faced during the interview, when the interviewer pointed it out. These mistakes tend to convey a lazy and careless attitude to the interviewer.
~ Lies about your candidatureDo not lie about your past jobs or qualifications or anything which might have an impact on the job. You may be able to secure a job with these lies today but tomorrow you may lose it as well.
~ Abbreviations or jargon that is difficult to understandPeople screening your resume usually belong to the HR department. If they do not understand what the abbreviations and jargon mean, they will simply dump your CV in the trash can. Avoid over-using such terms as far as possible.
~ Reasons for leaving last jobLeave these reasons to be discussed during the personal interview. For example, some candidates write: Reason for leaving the last job: Made redundant. Avoid making such statements in your CV, they add no value. Besides, if you do get an interview call, chances are the interviewer will address the issue.
~ Past failures or health problemsMentioning these immediately slash your chances of getting an interview call. For instance, you have a gap in your employment because you started your own business which did not do well. Some candidates might write -- Reason for gap in employment: Started own business which failed. Do not do this type of injustice with your job hunt at this stage of writing the CV.
~ Current or expected salaryLeave it to be discussed while negotiating the salary.
~ Irrelevant detailsLeave out the details like marital status, sex, passport number, number of kids, age of kids. These are usually irrelevant for most interviewers but at times could be used as a basis for discrimination.
~ ReferencesDo not include them until asked. In fact, it is not even required to mention the line 'Reference available on request'. If the recruiter requires a reference, he/she will ask you to bring it along for the interview.
Now that you have run through the list, take a fresh look at your CV and prune away unnecessary details and unaffordable blunders that could have cost you your dream job
However, creating a CV isn't as simple as just using flowery language and pretty fonts. There are certain things that put recruiters off and if you want to make a good impression, make sure you do not commit these mistakes in what is arguably the most valuable document of your job hunt.
While the rules listed are well-founded, they are not carved in stone. At times you will need to break the rules. If you want to add these things knowingly and purposefully to your CV we advise you to do that.
The points mentioned here are not listed in the order of priority; instead they are listed in the sequence in which they usually appear on a CV.
~ Colorful or glossy paper and flashy fontsYour CV is a formal, official document. Keep it simple.
~ Resume or CV at the top Many people tend to add headings to their CV. The usual are CV, Curriculum Vitae and Resume. Do not do this.
~ Photographs until askedDo not add your photo to the CV until you have been asked for it. Photographs are required only for certain types of positions like models, actors etc.
~ Usage of 'I', 'My', 'He', 'She'Do not use these in your CV. Many candidates write, 'I worked as Team Leader for XYZ Company' or 'He was awarded Best Employee for the year 2007'. Instead use bullet points to list out your qualifications/ experience like: Team leader for XYZ Company from 2006-2007.
~ Spelling mistakes and grammatical errorsProofread your CV until you are confident that it doesn't have any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors. These are big put-offs for the recruiters. Moreover, sometimes these mistakes might land you in an embarrassing situation.
A candidate who submitted his CV without proofreading it committed the mistake of wrongly spelling 'ask' as 'ass'. Now you can imagine the type of embarrassment he must have faced during the interview, when the interviewer pointed it out. These mistakes tend to convey a lazy and careless attitude to the interviewer.
~ Lies about your candidatureDo not lie about your past jobs or qualifications or anything which might have an impact on the job. You may be able to secure a job with these lies today but tomorrow you may lose it as well.
~ Abbreviations or jargon that is difficult to understandPeople screening your resume usually belong to the HR department. If they do not understand what the abbreviations and jargon mean, they will simply dump your CV in the trash can. Avoid over-using such terms as far as possible.
~ Reasons for leaving last jobLeave these reasons to be discussed during the personal interview. For example, some candidates write: Reason for leaving the last job: Made redundant. Avoid making such statements in your CV, they add no value. Besides, if you do get an interview call, chances are the interviewer will address the issue.
~ Past failures or health problemsMentioning these immediately slash your chances of getting an interview call. For instance, you have a gap in your employment because you started your own business which did not do well. Some candidates might write -- Reason for gap in employment: Started own business which failed. Do not do this type of injustice with your job hunt at this stage of writing the CV.
~ Current or expected salaryLeave it to be discussed while negotiating the salary.
~ Irrelevant detailsLeave out the details like marital status, sex, passport number, number of kids, age of kids. These are usually irrelevant for most interviewers but at times could be used as a basis for discrimination.
~ ReferencesDo not include them until asked. In fact, it is not even required to mention the line 'Reference available on request'. If the recruiter requires a reference, he/she will ask you to bring it along for the interview.
Now that you have run through the list, take a fresh look at your CV and prune away unnecessary details and unaffordable blunders that could have cost you your dream job
Friday, October 17, 2008
TEN PRINCIPLES
Stop and ask yourself today,
"How do I really feel about myself? "
Before you answer read these ten principles.Better yet, keep them before you daily.
(1) Never think or speak negatively about yourself; that puts you in disagreement with God.
(2) Meditate on your God-given strengths and learn to encourage yourself, for much of the time nobody else will.
(3) Don't compare yourself to anybody else. You're unique, one of a kind, an original. So don't settle for being a copy.
(4) Focus on your potential, not your limitations. Remember, God lives in you!
(5) Find what you like to do, do well, and strive to do it with excellence.
(6) Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser.
(7) Learn to handle criticism. Let it develop you instead of discourage you.
(8) Determine your own worth instead of letting others do it for you. They'll short-change you!
(9) Keep your shortcomings in perspective - you're still a work in progress....
(10) Focus daily on your greatest source of confidence - the God Who lives in you
"How do I really feel about myself? "
Before you answer read these ten principles.Better yet, keep them before you daily.
(1) Never think or speak negatively about yourself; that puts you in disagreement with God.
(2) Meditate on your God-given strengths and learn to encourage yourself, for much of the time nobody else will.
(3) Don't compare yourself to anybody else. You're unique, one of a kind, an original. So don't settle for being a copy.
(4) Focus on your potential, not your limitations. Remember, God lives in you!
(5) Find what you like to do, do well, and strive to do it with excellence.
(6) Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser, not a people pleaser.
(7) Learn to handle criticism. Let it develop you instead of discourage you.
(8) Determine your own worth instead of letting others do it for you. They'll short-change you!
(9) Keep your shortcomings in perspective - you're still a work in progress....
(10) Focus daily on your greatest source of confidence - the God Who lives in you
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Some of Answers you can give to Stupid Questions
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask....
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No.. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair....
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask....
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No.. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair....
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
Switching to Cash May Feel Safe, but Risks Remain
It’s a question we’ve all asked in our darker moments of late: Why not just put all of our investments in cash, 100 percent, just for a little while, until things calm down?
Some people already seem to be acting on that instinct. In the first six days of October (through Monday), investors pulled $19 billion out of mutual funds that invest in United States stocks, matching the outflows for the entire month of September, according to TrimTabs Investment Research.
Some people already seem to be acting on that instinct. In the first six days of October (through Monday), investors pulled $19 billion out of mutual funds that invest in United States stocks, matching the outflows for the entire month of September, according to TrimTabs Investment Research.
“What clients are looking for is safety,” said John Bunch, president of retail distribution at TD Ameritrade. “They are seeking solutions that are backed by the federal government. Specifically, F.D.I.C-insured money funds and certificates of deposit. All of it is under the umbrella of, ‘Am I safe and insured?’ ”
By fleeing for the comfort of safe and insured, however, investors with a time horizon beyond a few years may be doing real damage to their long-term finances. If you’re tempted to make a big move to cash right now, you’re doing something called market timing. It’s an implied statement that you’ve figured out the right moment to get out of stocks — and will also know the right time to get back in.
So let’s dispense with the first part straightaway. The right time to move out of stocks was a year or so ago, before various stock indexes the world over fell by one-third or more.
If you missed that opportunity, you’re hardly alone.
But if you sell now, you’ll be locking in your losses. And once you’re in cash, there isn’t much upside. In fact, with interest rates low, you’re likely to lose money in cash, because inflation will probably eat up the after-tax returns you earn from a savings or money-market account.
A guarantee of a small loss may sound good right now. But if you’re not bailing out of stocks once and for all, how will you know when it’s time to get back in? The fact is, any peace of mind you gain by being on the sidelines now will turn into a migraine once you see how much you can harm your portfolio over time by missing just a bit of any rebound.
H. Nejat Seyhun, a professor of finance at the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan, put together a study in 2005 for Towneley Capital Management, where he tested the long-term damage that investors could do to their portfolios if they missed out on the small percentage of days when the stock market experienced big gains.
From 1963 to 2004, the index of American stocks he tested gained 10.84 percent annually in a geometric average, which avoided overstating the true performance. For people who missed the 90 biggest-gaining days in that period, however, the annual return fell to just 3.2 percent. Less than 1 percent of the trading days accounted for 96 percent of the market gains.
This fall, Javier Estrada, a professor of finance at IESE Business School in Barcelona, published a similar study in The Journal of Investing that looked at equity markets in 15 nations, including the United States. A portfolio belonging to an investor who missed the 10 best days over several decades across all of those markets would end up, on average, with about half the balance of someone who sat tight throughout.
So moving to cash right now is just fine as long as you know precisely when to get back into stocks (even though you didn’t know when to get out of them).
At some point, stocks will indeed fall enough that investors will remove the money from their mattresses and put it to work, causing prices to rise significantly. But, as Bonnie A. Hughes, a certified financial planner with the Enrichment Group in Miami, put it to me, there won’t be an e-mail message or news release that goes out when this is about to happen. It will be evident only afterward, on the few days when the market surges.
And it gets worse for those who think they won’t have any trouble investing in stocks again later. Medium- or long-term investors who are considering a big move into cash right now are probably making an emotional decision, at least in part. For those who follow through, the same instincts will probably hurt when trying to figure out when to reinvest in stocks.
“The emotional forces that drove them out of the market aren’t likely to let them back in ‘until things are better,’ ” Dan Danford of the Family Investment Center in St. Joseph, Mo., said in an e-mail message. “And for most people, things won’t feel better again until the market has already moved back up.” In fact, he added, plenty of people may not allow themselves to get back in until the market has already risen significantly.
That situation is worth considering if you think your mood, or returns, can’t get any worse. “People feel worse missing out on the bounce-back that will inevitably come than they do hanging in there through the down period,” said Elaine D. Scoggins, a certified financial planner with Merriman Berkman Next in Seattle.
The truly downbeat do not see the bounce as inevitable. This outlook is essentially a bet that our current predicament is so different that the equity markets won’t bounce back at all, even though they survived 1929, the Great Depression, 1987 and a major terrorist attack. I do not believe that the markets are in some kind of permanent decline, and I haven’t found an expert who does.
That said, some retirees, or those close to leaving the work force, may be well-off enough to leave stocks behind for now. If the tumult in the economy and the decline in the markets have altered your risk tolerance, then it may make sense to move to a portfolio of Treasury bills, certificates of deposit and money market funds.
Michael G. Coli, 56, of Crystal Lake, Ill., decided to take his 401(k) money out of the market in February. As an investor in his sons’ pizza restaurants, he noticed that an increasing number of customers were relying on credit cards. And as the owner of a winter home in Naples, Fla., he witnessed the housing market dive. Taken together, he decided to pull his retirement money, which he would need in five years, from the Vanguard Balanced Index Fund and move it all into certificates of deposit.
“I had the feeling the economy was not on real firm ground,” Mr. Coli said. “I decided to get out and put it all in C.D.’s, and that is where I’ve been ever since.”
If you can’t afford to live off the proceeds of cash investments (or dividends from your investment in your kids’ pizza joints), you may have no choice but to hold on to whatever stocks you have left. Then, you can hope for a rebound that will allow you to live out your later years more comfortably. Selling now and moving to cash could mean guaranteeing a lower standard of living for the rest of your life, because you’d be locking in your losses.
But if you’re a bit younger, try to think of your investment portfolio in the same way you consider the value of your home, if you own one. After all, if you’re not moving anytime soon, your home is a long-term investment, too.
“Today’s price is not your price. Your price is 10 or 20 years from now,” said Thomas A. Orecchio, of Greenbaum & Orecchio, a wealth management firm in Old Tappan, N.J. “Unfortunately, stock market investors don’t always see things that way.”
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